When Andy and Larry Wachowski came out with “The Matrix”, they proved they were innovative filmmakers with a lot of flash and substance in their work. With “Speed Racer” they have shown all they have left is flash.

It's hard to decide who “Speed Racer” is supposed to appeal to. At 135 minutes, it’s too long and complicated for kids and it’s too stupid for adults. Doesn’t leave a whole lot of people out there. Maybe they were trying to go for the cartoon effect with live action, but it doesn’t work at all and it makes “Speed Racer” likely the worst movie we will see this summer.

Based on the cartoon, it follows the title character (Emile Hirsch) as the young, up-and-coming driver on the WRL (World Racing League) circuit. The WRL features wild, gravity-defying racing up and down courses shaped like roller coasters with cars spinning sideways and flipping over each other and blowing up everywhere. The movie cuts back and forth from past to present as we see Speed grow up idolizing his older brother, Rex (Scott Porter), another auto racer who races for their father, Pops (John Goodman). Rex had a falling out with Pops, went out on his own and was killed in a racing accident.

As Speed moves up the racing ranks, he is soon wooed by Royalton Industries and its owner (Roger Allam). Speed would have the chance to get all of the finest racing equipment he would ever need, but after Speed turns him down to stick with Pops, he is told the horrifying secret of racing that all of the major races are fixed (huh?) and that he will see to it he never wins again. Soon enough, Speed is knocked out of races and his family’s racing business is investigated for a series of violations.

He gets a chance to get out of this mess when he is approached to help crash a deal that would cost Royalton millions. The deal teams him up with Taejo Togokhan (Brazilian pop singer Rain) and the mysterious Racer X (Matthew Fox), who also happens to race very similarly to Rex.

Helping Speed in his races are his girlfriend Trixie (Christina Ricci), mechanic Sparky (Kick Gurry) and little brother Spritle (Paulie Litt) and family chimp Chim Chim, along with his mother (Susan Sarandon).

Where to begin? Well, the one thing the movie was banking on, its racing scenes, are hard to follow. Cars are spinning and jumping over and exploding all over the place, so it’s hard to follow exactly what’s going on. They're breaking out all of these illegal weapons and it resembles something like the pod races of “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace” only not nearly as good. The whole thing should be cooler than it actually is and if everyone, the characters included, had all been CGI, it might have been.

The characters are the other big problem of the movie. There is no depth to anyone. By his own admission, all Speed Racer cares about is racing and not really anything else, so it’s hard to root for him when we have no real reason to care about whether or not he wins. Races are fixed? That’s the best they could come up with?

This kills what on paper looks like a great cast. Poor John Goodman and Susan Sarandon, both fine actors, are stuck with the unfortunate task of trying to make corny lines sound a little less corny, and they can’t succeed.

That brings us to young Paulie Litt as Spritle. He and his stupid chimpanzee, Chim Chim, are the most annoying movie characters since Jar Jar Binks introduced himself to “Star Wars” fans everywhere. They’re supposed to be the comic relief and every scene, EVERY SCENE they are in is not funny and simply annoying. We can only hope for Paulie’s sake he can bounce back. As for Chim Chim — back to the jungle.

Luckily for the Wachowski brothers, they are notoriously press shy. That's good, considering there is virtually nothing but bad press for their latest offering. It's time for them to get out of the Matrix and back into the real world where they belong. Go, Speed Racer, go, indeed. Go away.

“Speed Racer” is now playing at the Ottumwa 8 Theater. It is 135 minutes long and is rated PG for sequences of action, some violence and language.

Andy Paugh is the Courier’s news editor. He can be reached at aspaugh@mchsi.com

One star