The Ottumwa Courier

October 29, 2013

Life too complex


Ottumwa Courier

---- — My knowledge of electronics stops with the on and off switch. I was persuaded to try a new-fangled cell phone. One of the more simple ones. It takes pictures, prints them, records day, date, time. Tells me where I am, where I should be, how I got there and how to get back, daily stock market reports, sports scores, odds on the games. I ask if there was one that just allowed phone numbers, only to learn one was never made. What would be the advanced model? It had built-in radar and missle tracking system. My hometown of Watered Down Falls is a close knit community. They have given nicknames to the city council persons. Which are Frick, Frack, Farley, Folson and Farnsworth, with the head honcho named M. Snarly. Their actions would be if you were in a sinking rowboat, Frick would throw you a bucket and yell, "bail." Farley would keep the bucket and throw you the bail. Frack would take the matter under advisement. Folsom would hire a consulting firm. Farnsworth would ask for laptop computers to record the action. Snarly would take his hat and go home. Townspeople love them. Best entertainment anywhere. Costly but unsurpassed. Council material? A neighbor spent $500 for a ticket to a football game where the stadium seated 150,000. $300 to get there. $100 to park the car. $200 for beer and dogs. Got his pocket picked. A deep sunburn. Too late to the men's room with terrible results. Turned an ankle. Seated so far up in the stands, had no idea who won. But had a good time — going to repeat it next year. If a city honestly wishes it to grow, get out of the way. It has problems with finding a way to grow, but no problems finding a way to stumbling blocks.

Max Hulen

Ottumwa