The Ottumwa Courier

January 5, 2013

True Hollywood exposed by young actor


OTTUMWA — “Out of the mouths of babes” ... the recent stunning religious conversion of the young male actor of “Two and a Half Men” sitcom (in)fame(y) could best be described as “the shot heard ’round the entertainment world.” Even more significant is the fact that he turned on his former occupation, and labeled it “filth,” literally throwing it back into their teeth.

Poor Charlie Sheen, 2012 wasn’t a particularly good year for the not-so-jolly “Cholly” as his program was frequently plagued by problems on and off the set, most notably in Detroit, where his traveling road show was literally booed off the stage and subsequently out of town.

But don’t expect any immediate spiritual revival to sweep through Christianity-hating Tinsel Town and La La Land. They’ve been mired in the “flesh trade” since the industry’s very inception. Commencing with the likes of Mae “why don’t you come up and see me sometime” West, on through the legendary Elizabeth “Sweet Lizzy” Taylor and her endless array of “non-husbands,” continuing with the “blonde bombshells” Jayne Mansfield, Marilyn Monroe, and Bridget Bardot (you know, the late Kennedy brothers’ White House “play toys”), and finally morphing into the infamous spitting, crotch-grabbing, flag-desecrating, male-mocking Roseanne; the Left Coast has finally been exposed for what it really is — and always has been — since the creation of “Hell”ywood, the notorious home of starlets, harlots and whoremongering “hunks.”

So if one young Hollywoodite (out of a national population of approximately 300,000,000), has the admirable moral character and courage to call a “spade” by its right name, then where does that leave the remaining 299,999,999 (including any 50,000 politicians and preachers)? Does that make U.S. a motley crew of smut-faced sleazehags, slimeballs, scumbutts — and, oh yes, “filthmongers?” Well, as the old saying goes, “if the shoe fits, wear it.”

So here’s to the young “Two and a Half Men” actor, who in all actuality, is the only Real Man on the entire show. Bless ya, son, may your tribe increase. “And a little child shall lead them.”

Wendell E. Carr