Sitting at a desk all day and then going home to drink beer and watch movies about giant mutant wasps, rodents, crocodiles and even rhinoceros beetles is not a healthy lifestyle. Not that I know anyone who does that.

No, when I go home, I drink beer and watch movies about giant mutant wasps, rodents, crocodiles and even rhinoceros beetles - while walking on my treadmill. I can now watch these movies guilt-free knowing that I am exercising. So what if I’m not watching the more educational channels or reading serious books - I am exercising. That magic word lets me watch all the junk I want because I am doing a heart-healthy thing.

And it isn’t that all those supposed educational channels are really that intellectual. I just got satellite TV for the first time and had thought the History Channel and Discov­ery Channel were educational. But I guess they must also have to worry about ratings. Why else would I find listings like these:

Man vs. Wild

Desert Survivor

In the hottest place on earth, Bear Grylls shows you how to get out alive as he tackles his biggest challenge yet - skinning and disemboweling a dead camel for water, food and shelter for a night under the stars.

Dirty Jobs

Poo Pot Maker

Just when Mike thought he had seen it all, he is hired at a cow farm that specializes in making gardening pots out of cow manure. Mike counts dead salmon carcasses and opens up the mail bag and answers a viewer's question and gets bitten by a snake.

MonsterQuest

American Werewolf

American Werewolf - Eyewitnesses in Wisconsin and Michigan report seeing a tall hairy man-beast some describe as a dogman...a centuries old legend based on myth, not a real animal. But what are they seeing? MonsterQuest will deploy professional hunters and trackers in an area with recent sightings, armed with a tranquilizer gun. And for the first time eyewitness accounts will be put to the test, using polygraphs and hypnosis and the results will astonish.

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Of course you know they never find any of these mythical creatures because you would have already seen it on CNN.

Maybe the Discovery Channel needs to hire some of those unemployed Weekly World News reporters now that the newspaper has folded. After all, they did scoop some of journalism’s greatest stories - like the discovery of Bat Boy. They also had such headline grabbers as "Crazed Dieter Mistakes Dwarf for Chicken,” Half-Man/Half-Fish Terrorizing Florida Swamp,” "Man Bothered by Alien Telemarketers," “Aliens Capture Top-Secret NASA Moon Base” and “Princess Anne's Dog Plotted Diana's Death.”